My Lady Side...

Easy Cheese Cake

My son would be so proud that I am writing this down!  He is a trained chef, so the fact that I cook and bake with almost no measuring cups or scales drive him bonkers.  But, here is my absolutely, no muss no fuss, easy as pie, cheese cake recipe.

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• 2 blocks Philadelphia cream cheese

• 2 tbsp. vanilla

• ½ small can sweetened condensed milk

• 4 tbsp. lemon juice

• 1 large graham cracker pie crust

• ½ cup mini chocolate chips

1. Set the two blocks of cream cheese out for about 30 minutes to soften.

2. Blend the cream cheese, lemon juice and condensed milk in a mixing bowl until creamy.

3. Blend in the vanilla.

4. Pour into pie crust and level.

5. Top with chocolate chips.

6. Refrigerate for 1 hour before eating.

You can do any flavor with this recipe.  This is a simple vanilla chocolate chip, but you can add anything you like to switch it up.  If you add fruit, make sure to compensate for the additional water by adding a small amount of powdered sugar.

I have played with this recipe for years.  It always tastes amazing, but it does take some experimentation to get the consistency when you are adding certain ingredients.  The base is always the same, though I will sometimes leave out the lemon juice or add more if I want something a little sour.

If you want to make your own graham cracker crust, it usually takes about 2 cups of crushed graham crackers, two tablespoons of sugar, and half a stick of melted butter.  Dissolve the sugar in the melted butter, then add it to the crushed crackers and form into a pie pan.

Why Aren't You Hungry?

We just worked together to create this beautiful dinner and you have taken all of three bites.  What do you mean by "I'm not hungry anymore."?

I used to hear this a lot when my kids were younger and I blame the jerkface genius that created "appetizers".  Whomever this person was, they convinced us that we, what, need a dang pre-meal to our actual meal?

If you knew how many times appetizers led to leftovers, that then led to wasted food in my trashcan, you would be shocked.

Then, this whole appetizer mentality bleeds its way into our every day lives.  We start thinking "I know, lets have an appetizer before dinner". 

I got this... I'm gonna be the best mom ever because I am going to make a rule that "as long as its vegetables, you can snack on it while we are cooking."  Which, I am sure, given someone else's kids, that would have worked great.  Not my weird ass heathens!  They love that shit.  So, every dinner started with cracking open a can of black olives, or a carton of mushrooms, sometimes a bag of grape tomatoes.

Then, you guessed it, "I'm not hungry anymore.".  

Well, then why the heck did you want an appetizer?!?

Here comes the dilemma.  Do I go all "mom" on these brats and start lecturing them on how there are starving people all over the world that don't get enough food?  How wasting the perfectly good dinner we just made makes them entitled.  No, I cant do that.  Why? Because, then I am encouraging my children to be glutenous thus promoting the obesity crisis in America.

How do I know this is what will happen?  Because that is what I did.  I got all ticked off about them not eating, and that lecture got fired right back in my face. 

I change my previous attack on the poor individual that created appetizers.  Now I believe that whatever that instinct is for us to teach our kids to read and comprehend information is to blame.  Oh, and to the person that wrote the article my oldest son read about the obesity crisis in America.... I don't like you at all.  NOT ONE LITTLE BIT!

That's My Future Wife

Yep, those are the exact words my oldest son said to me one day.  We had just got done having a fancy dinner at Waffle House and were climbing into our equally fancy 1989 Sable.  My, then 13 year old, son makes an indescribable noise, and jumps back out of the car.

He runs over to some tiny human and wraps her in a bear hug.  I cant hear what they are saying, but they are both smiling so big that I instantly know he is totally smitten with this girl.  I remember thinking about how itty bitty she was compared to him.  At 13, he was already a "strapping young lad" at 5'9" and about 180 pounds.  I swear, she was no more than 5'1" and 80 pounds, if she was soaking wet.

They made such a weird, and slightly adorable, picture together.

I waited patiently, which was very odd for me at this time in my life.  I generally had no patience when it came to my oldest son at 13.  He was a handful, to say the least.  But, I waited.  This looked important, and I honestly hadn't seen him smile like that in months.  Maybe I knew what was coming, maybe I just wanted that smile to last as long as possible.

When he got back in the car, I said (in my sweet, I'm going to use this against you, mom voice) "Who was that?"

To which, without hesitation, he replies, "That's my future wife."

He said this in a way that left absolutely no room for argument.  Like it was just fact, and there was no other answer to give.

Of course, since I am a mom, I said "Sure it is honey."

BOY was I surprised!  I still find it hard to believe.

My oldest, who is now 27 years old, is in fact married to that tiny little human.  They have been together for 13 years and have three disgustingly beautiful boys.

I feel like I should be able to take some kind of credit for this, but I can honestly say he didn't get that from me.  I didn't exactly give him the best example with my two failed marriages and horrible relationship skills.  His father, with his FIVE marriages, wasn't a great influence either.

He and his "future wife" will have to get all the credit for this one.

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